Portrait of Jenny

To my surprise it is World Breastfeeding Week, and thankfully, not to my surprise, today is also my wife, Jenny's birthday.

A quick hashtag search of #worldbreastfeedingweek will provide a plethora of photos and art depicting proud momma with a thirsty babe abreast.  It's a beautiful,natural world we live in.  However, nature does not always go as planned, and this is a post of a different experience involving finding solutions, letting go, and determination.

Our newest son Hiro, was born in February with a cleft lip and palate not letting him get the proper suction on Jenny's nipple to stimulate her milk production and at the same time not get the milk he needed.  These first few weeks were to date some of the most challenging times Jenny and I have faced in our life.  First it was a total shock, next feeding became so so critical and what was the easiest thing about our first son, became an insurmountable challenge.  I cannot even begin to tell you the sense of loss and frustration Jenny felt in not being able to naturally breast feed Hiro.  As all the pro-breastfeeding literature states there are a multitude of benefits associated, as well as being sustainable and a bonding opportunity.  Jenny was heartbroken.

But at the same time, I applaud Jenny's resilience in the moment and putting priority first on feeding this baby.  Enter breast pump and special bottles and nipples, and all the cleaning supplies and procedures.  Thanks to my mom, who came to our rescue to our bohemian Mexican-beach, middle of nowhere fortress of solitude.

And so it goes, Hiro will be 6 months in 2 days.  And Jenny has been pumping on average every 3 hours.  Day and night even while driving back and forth from Nashville to visit her family.  I will say I am the proudest husband for her not giving up.  I know it would be 100 times easier for her to go the formula route.  Knowing mother's milk is best, she finds peace that she can provide that, and has let go of the natural expectation that baby needs to latch.

I think that's the lesson, as parents we strive towards perfection.  But it's tricky because there is nothing we can compare to.  No model of perfection out there, everyone's story is different.  And I think that is the magic in parenting.  Our children won't remember if we were perfect or not, what they remember and hopefully learn is that we try our best, do everything possible, and overcome challenges with grace.  I believe Jenny is deserving of praise for her efforts.

Here is a portrait of Jenny pumping.  Painted for her birthday, but just so coincidentally falling on a date where I can say something and bring some sort of awareness to her experience and the breastfeeding culture as whole.

Jenny Pumping, oil on arches oil paper 12"x16"

Thanks for reading. Much love.  

Willie Nelson and Zen

Willie Nelson, oil on arches oil paper
Reference photo off google.

"I take it not only one day at a time, but one moment at a time, and keep at that pace. If you can be happy right now, then you'll always be happy, because it's always in the now."                                                                                                                                           -Willie Nelson

If I contemplate Willie's quote above in relation to my art, I'd say it's exactly where I want to be.  It is easy to get lost in thoughts of where my art is going, selling, and pleasing to the point where it is a barrier in itself to actually creating.  But these days, taking it slow is where I find time to make art for enjoyment.  

Process

Initial drawing with thinned down oil (I use gamblin gamsol and mixture of mostly Umber for its drying speed).  Once I was happy with facial feature proportions and placement, I went in with color, making adjustments to my underpainting as needed.

Watercolor Studies

I had been wanting to paint this portrait for a while.  But as with many oil paintings for me, starting is the hardest part.  Such a commitment to mix paints and the rest of the set up, and then the clean up...  With small children it's tough to find and carve out that time.  Having watercolor around helps me get that itch before committing to the real plan.  It also lets me get to know the subject, practice makes perfect.  

Back to Willie's quote, I will say with this painting and others, I have been modifying my oil process, materials, and most importantly, clean up, to give me the feeling that I can be spontaneous with my oil painting.  I am learning to let go of unused paint.  If I mix paint and something comes up, so be it.  If the moment permits and I want to paint in oil, I'm going to go ahead without worrying about interruptions that haven't happened and which, in the end are inevitable anyway.  Being in the moment with not just art but with life and family, allows me to be happy with anything.  And in the end makes me a better painter, as I am constantly calculating my color values and brush strokes.

Perhaps another post sometime in the future about materials and process.

Below is the song that inspired me to paint Willie.  "Just Breathe", original by Pearl Jam/Eddie Vedder, covered by Willie and Luke Nelson.  Can't get any more zen than just breathing.  The father-son theme here, really struck a chord.

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Commission

Oil studies on paper for a commission

Commissions!  how I love thee.  I was asked by a friend to paint a symbol with a lot of personal meaning.  What an honor.  I really enjoy painting works that I know from the get go will resonate with the owner.  This has been a favorite aspect of the pet portraits.  I know something is going to a home, setting the bar higher.  This gets the creative juices flowing and its always nice to have someone come into my art making bubble.

The symbol as far as I know is a Buddhist sanskrit meaning "Lotus".  And as an article my friend shared with me, the lotus in buddhism represents the journey of the "soul from the material body that is the mud through the waters of experience to the sunshine of enlightenment".

Finished piece

The largest piece of the year at 48" x 36".  I was amazed at how many tubes of paint went into this.

Portraits 2015

Frederick Douglas - Watercolor

I have always been drawn to paint portraits.  This iconic photograph of Frederick Douglas made for a fun afternoon.  But what really grabbed my attention was this quote by him, "I prayed for twenty years but received no answer until I prayed with my legs".  This came around one of the times of one of many mass shootings and the headline "God is not going to fix this" was stirring up controversy.  I posted this and the quote with the hashtag "God is not going to fix this ALONE".  I think you can make the connections and the relevancy with what is needed in today's political climate.

Ernest Hemingway - Pen and watercolor

I like his quote, "There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed."  I feel the same way about sitting at a blank canvas or paper.  Or in front of the complexity of life before us.

4 year old Tibetan Girl - Study in oil

I ended up with this print on the cover of a Taschen magazine.  It is a photograph by National Geographic photographer Allison Wright.  You can see a write up on the photo on NG's website.

detail

I had such a response from the first study that I felt compelled to make another one as a gift.  Trying a different approach and using what I learned the first time around.  I am in fact working on my third one.  Such a great photo to work with.  She has more subjects, I may try as well.

Santi at 5 months at Grandparents (in progress) - Oil on Canvas

On one of our visits from Taiwan, I sketched this little guy here thinking it would make a nice painting.  Now back in Texas, I came across the sketch, transferred to canvas and put the color in from photos and memory.  This is the only photo I got of it while in progress before I gave it to my parents for xmas.
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Bernie Sanders for President

detail

16"x20" Oil on canvas

Doing what I can to get people all around the world to hear Bernie's message. Calling for universal health care, free college, and a healthy planet for humanity is a gift for our future generations. We can start this journey now together, with love, compassion and unity.  I am offering this painting for sale on eBay, 100% of the final price will go to Bernie's campaign.  

This is my first attempt at a painting process video. I have a lot to learn and a tripod to buy. But we all have to give something new a shot sometime. Please share. Thanks for viewing and most of all, LISTENING 


Photo reference: Peter Yang

Audio: In 180 Seconds You Will Be Voting For Bernie Sanders https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rtBVu...

Mexico

One inch color study of the Maldives.

This past September, my sister got married in Saltillo, Mexico.  Unfortunately, I had no time to stop and paint there.  But I was really happy to see lots of family and it was also Jenny and Santi's first time in Mexico.  This is a small color study of one of their honeymoon pictures in the Maldives.

The Cathedral of Our Lady of the Assumption - Oaxaca, Mex. - Gouache

Shortly after my older sister's wedding in Saltillo, we found ourselves in Oaxaca, Mexico for one of my other sister's weeding.  This time allowed for some art making.  This the church where the wedding ceremony happened.

Gouache

View from a hotel rooftop.

Side door into the cathedral - watercolor

I was sitting down early in the morning with this little sketch and was approached by two people with guitars in hand, strumming along.  They proceeded to share their sketchbook pages and I mine.  They gave me a cd of theirs and went on their way.  After finishing the sketch I found them in a little coffee shop, where they proceeded to play me a little tune.  I was blown away.  Turns out they are from the west coast and had just played their last gig on a Mexican tour.  Check em out: http://www.nathanandjessie.com

Pen and watercolor

We rented in a car in order to get out of Oaxaca City and found the changing nature around incredible.  From ancient Aztec ruins (Monte Alban and Yagul), cacti, sulfuric waterfalls (Hierve el Agua), to cold, misty mountain forests with piney trees and large agaves.  Such contrast.

Hill Country, TX

In May of 2015, after searching San Antonio, Austin and everything in between we found this home on a hill in New Braunfels.  I really can't express the change or experience the move afforded us as a family.  But having a canyon to hike to one of the best city parks (Landa Park) was truly a welcoming change of routine to big city life.  A magical place where lots of good things happened.

New Place, watercolor and pen.

House in the woods in New Braunfels, TX.  Time to slow things down.

Back yard #1 - Gouache 

In May during all the rain.  Luckily we were on high ground.

Back yard #2... - Gouache

Think this was in the heat of the summer.

Backyard #3

Deer sketches.

Yup we had deer.  Lots of them.

Local Hike - Pen and watercolor

Comal River #1- Gouache

Enjoying the perk of being able to hike down to the river.

Comal #2  - Gouache with Instagram Filter

Follow me on IG: Fishyburns

View from Market Street House, Fayetteville, TX - Gouache

Somewhere between NB and Houston is Fayetteville.  I include this here as part of my Texas landscape works.  My sister's inlaws are Fayetteville staples.  If you are ever in the area and need a place to stay, I highly recommend staying in one of their beautiful stays: http://blackbirdfarmtexas.com

Spain, Italy, and Siths

In my previous post I mentioned I was off to Europe.  I share with you my art experiences on that trip in February or March, or quite possibly both months.

Gouache

Arriving jetlagged to our hotel in a little town in Spain, I forced myself to go outside in the cold sunless afternoon, (with a hot coffee that went cold in minutes) and did my best to paint this lady statue before the cold got the best of me.  

Santa Maria della Salute.  Ink and watercolor.

I was traveling with my father, and we had some days to kill over the weekend, so we went to Venice.   So romantic, haha.  This place made me miss Jenny a lot.  Such a honeymooner's paradise.  Anyway, this was our view out of our hotel room.  What a surprise.

Just had to get out and paint one of these Venetian Canal bridges.

La Charmeuse de serpents. Henri Rousseau - 1907 (Trans. The Snake Charmer)

While in Venice it was cold and rainy.  I dragged my father to an exhibit about the influence Henri Rousseau had on various artists that went on to be pioneers of major art history movements, such as Frida Kahlo, Pablo Picasso, etc.  The exhibit also had works of mentioned artists.  But it was this large feature painting by Rousseau that wow'ed me the most.

oil on canvas

Later in the year, I just had take a crack at Rousseau's "simplified" style.  Too much fun.  This is the only picture I got of it while in progress, before it got put in storage.  Another tidbit about Rousseau's art, most depict a very green, lush jungle scene.  Rousseau never visited these places, and stayed in France most of his life, painting these landscapes from stories he read about explorers visiting Mexico.  Orale!

Le charmeur du côté obscur - Gouache on paper (Trans. The Charmer of the Dark Side)

Santi is a big Star Wars fan.  He asked for Darth Vader and the background just happened.

Art in 2015

Every year since 2009 I have been making a FB album highlighting some of the year's art work.  I feel it appropriate to post them here as well, with a bit more written about each piece.  Originally all pictures in chronological order totaled to 50 photos and a lot of reading for you.  So per Jenny's suggestion I will break them up in to separate posts.  We begin the year in Houston, TX.  Enjoy!

Going to the roots, is a theme I visit often in my sketches, trees and globes.  Now you know where Treehouse Splash came from.

Portrait of Santi as the cookie monster (oil on paper).  I could not find this sketch anywhere, so I thought I would post here to remember it.  BTW Santi is obsessed with Halloween all year round.  Hence why he can be Cookie Monster, fire fighter, Optimus Prime, Spiderman, Batman, Superman, etc...!

Quick gouache looking out of our apartment in Houston.

View out our window, Houston, TX - Oil on canvas

I had just returned home between business trips for one night, Jenny and Santi were in Nashville visiting family.  This particular moment at home alone, I woke up early and seized the opportunity, set up a station on our living room rug captured the moment out our biggest window.  Then I was off to Spain and Italy for long work trip.

Parents driveway.  

Wow back here again.  Ok, this is around the time we started looking for places outside of Houston.  Perhaps back to Austin, or even try San Antonio.  Sorry Austin, you are getting pretty packed.  Get more trains, bike lanes (or even dedicated bike streets).  Might need an upper upper level over the upper level on I-35.  And maybe start it from Oltorf to Braker, yikes!  Anyway....

Update

Greetings of the season and best wishes for a year of peace and happiness.  I hope everyone is excited about what we are to create in the next year.  I know I am.  As one of my first resolutions, I will post here before the new year, and do so more regularly.

I was recently asked if I still made art.  Yes, I do.  I've mostly been sharing on Facebook and Instagram.  But I have forgotten this blog as my effort to share more process and thoughts behind the art I make.  I also feel FB and IG are not the best at presenting to the most inclusive group.  It's for all and this is what I've always felt is the best way to share.

Last time I wrote here my son was a young baby and my artwork seemed to be about breastmilk and the beginning of life.  So for my first post since then, I will write about pregnancy.  Yes, my wife Jenny is pregnant with another boy due mid February.  And my ability to describe my life and thoughts since this news with just words would not be enough.

As expected my sketches started seeing more pregnant bodies and themes.  But I was particularly inspired by a painting called "The Town" by Alison Blickle a painter and ceramics sculptor I came across this year on Instagram.

Last few days of my show at @kravetswehbygallery! The Town, 80 x 60 in., oil on canvas & ceramics, 2014

A photo posted by alison blickle (@alisonblickle) on May 20, 2015 at 9:49am PDT

I don't know her interpretation of the painting, but it grabbed me and I started to attach my thoughts and representations on it.   Her last three posts show the artist very pregnant and then announcing her son's home birth.  She even mentioned Birthing from Within, which was instrumental in our decision to birth at home the first time around.  Highly recommended.  So maybe, the painting is autobiographical as well.  Congrats to her.

Belly Vase

Working out composition and a little color.

Mi Vida, Tu Vida
Oil on gessoed paper

The setting in my version of "Mi Vida, Tu Vida" is Mexico by the Pacific Ocean where we plan to have our 2nd baby boy.  The vase is an Asian design where Jenny and I met.  It has trees and a river to signify where we have been dwelling for the last 9 months next to the Comal River in Texas.  The woman is Jenny peering into the vase which holds our new son. 

The fact that Jenny is illuminated by the light inside reflects the bond the two of them are forging during this time.  She can see in and feel his life.  And she is guided and assured by his light to prepare herself for the journey ahead.

Thanks for visiting and reading.  I promise to share more and maybe even some recap posts about the last 2 years.

Breast Fuel

If only breast milk solved all of our problems.  

But then, for some it does.

It's World Breastfeeding Week.  Perfect timing.  Jenny's breast and their contents seem to be the only thing that comforts baby Santiago these days.  So a lot has gone into her breasts; research, diet, sleepless nights, and hormones.  Being the curious intellectual, I thumbed through Dr. Martin's Breastfeeding Book, which has just about all you need to know about the subject.  I was aware of the benefits from classes in college, but having them listed out in front of you is eye opening, and shocking that so many babies are kept from the benefits for various reasons, such as convenience, social awkwardness, etc.  My aunt and cousins are leaders in their communities for La Leche League, an international non-profit working to further educate and mentor mothers on the benefits of breastfeeding.  In a way changing the future for some, one breast at a time.  

So here we were last week, Jenny feeding and I reading some blogs and I come across this post on Drawger.  The art by Edel Rodriguez is chilling and the article on climate change by Bill McKibben is even more chilling.  Please read if you can.  He really breaks down all the research on climate change and the role of politics and money.  

In all the joy and love that has been surrounding me and my family this past month, global warming never entered my head.  My thoughts on the future had me pondering about my son's personality, what color his gray eyes will turn into, how long will Jenny breastfeed, and excitement to be part of his development as an aware being.  But what if what McKibben says is right.  My thoughts have turned into anxiety.  What future are we leaving to our offspring if we continue the course?  

Perhaps, if our leaders and the heads of big oil, thought more about breastfeeding and the generation of little one's who benefit from it, then maybe, breast milk could save the world.

Pop to Papa

On Friday, July the 13th, Jenny gave birth to our son, Santi, short for Santiago Ilan Fishburn LaChance.  It's hard to find the words to describe the emotions and thoughts that I've been feeling.  Art always seems to help me convey what words just cannot.  

Budai, oil on linen

I painted this the week after Santiago was born. A popular statue in Taiwan called the Budai, or "Laughing Buddha". Legend says this was a Zen monk who wandered around giving candy to children from his hemp sack. He is believed to bring happiness, luck, health, and other aspects of abundance. Budai has visited us and has left us with more candy than we ever imagined!

For all the gory details and pictures of the little guy you will have to visit Jenny's blog.  

Jenny is about to pop.

Jenny's Bump Portrait, oil on linen

Over the past 40 weeks my fiancée, Jenny, has been spearheading the quest for the means to a healthy, natural, and happy pregnancy, taking no prisoners along the way.  This has meant countless books and articles on the subject, long workouts, battling cravings, stinky durian diet, as well as breaking down traditional practices.  And she has done this with an incredible amount of love and determination.  I admire her hard work.  Proud of the mother she is going to be.  And feel very lucky to be able to say, I love her, it's very hard not to.  So, I dedicate this portrait of her at 39 weeks pregnant, to her.  It's the calm before the storm.  Our due date is tomorrow.  Jenny is deep in reflection, it's time to put the books down and just feel it out.  She's gonna be great.

For more about the journey to a healthy, natural, and happy pregnancy, I highly recommend Jenny's blog,

DragonBellyTales.blogspot.com.

Cheers.

29

Seeing that I have less than a month til I turn 30.  I figure I might as well post this asap.  This is my self portrait at 29 years old with flash.  I had planned before starting this painting, to do a whole in depth post on the process of this painting.  But now, after I dont know how many do-overs, I dont have the slightest bit of information to share about the process, except that my hair is a lot longer now than when I started this painting.  So here it is.  

Self Portrait at 29 with Flash

Urban Sketchers

For some time now I've been following the blog Urban Sketchers, a site which features many artists from all around the world, who share a love for drawing on location.  I don't quite understand how they select who to feature or how their hierarchy of invited correspondents works.  But they do welcome all who share their love for drawing, as mentioned in their manifesto, to join their community and share their art, by linking tagged images on their own flickr or blog.  They will then link your album onto their page and list you by region.  Pretty cool, I'm in.

Lately more than ever I have been using my surroundings as my inspiration.  A new environment just begs to be represented in my art.  Especially with a new outdoor set of watercolors I got in US on a recent visit. And it is a great way to share with friends and family what I see and do over here in Taitung, Taiwan.

Every time I sit at this spot I feel the presence of something peaceful.

Not far from where I sat for the previous sketch this monk prays through movement.

Old Railway Station in the middle of town.  Now a big tourist destination.

Hanging out at a 7-11 between evening classes.

One of those, "should I go outside today?" moments.  I am glad I did.

The mighty Pacific.

Drawing outdoors is a great way to meet locals.
I learned how to say "beautiful" in Chinese that day.

So much time for reflection in this place.