Friday, August 5, 2016

Portrait of Jenny

To my surprise it is World Breastfeeding Week, and thankfully, not to my surprise, today is also my wife, Jenny's birthday.

A quick hashtag search of #worldbreastfeedingweek will provide a plethora of photos and art depicting proud momma with a thirsty babe abreast.  It's a beautiful,natural world we live in.  However, nature does not always go as planned, and this is a post of a different experience involving finding solutions, letting go, and determination.

Our newest son Hiro, was born in February with a cleft lip and palate not letting him get the proper suction on Jenny's nipple to stimulate her milk production and at the same time not get the milk he needed.  These first few weeks were to date some of the most challenging times Jenny and I have faced in our life.  First it was a total shock, next feeding became so so critical and what was the easiest thing about our first son, became an insurmountable challenge.  I cannot even begin to tell you the sense of loss and frustration Jenny felt in not being able to naturally breast feed Hiro.  As all the pro-breastfeeding literature states there are a multitude of benefits associated, as well as being sustainable and a bonding opportunity.  Jenny was heartbroken.

But at the same time, I applaud Jenny's resilience in the moment and putting priority first on feeding this baby.  Enter breast pump and special bottles and nipples, and all the cleaning supplies and procedures.  Thanks to my mom, who came to our rescue to our bohemian Mexican-beach, middle of nowhere fortress of solitude.

And so it goes, Hiro will be 6 months in 2 days.  And Jenny has been pumping on average every 3 hours.  Day and night even while driving back and forth from Nashville to visit her family.  I will say I am the proudest husband for her not giving up.  I know it would be 100 times easier for her to go the formula route.  Knowing mother's milk is best, she finds peace that she can provide that, and has let go of the natural expectation that baby needs to latch.

I think that's the lesson, as parents we strive towards perfection.  But it's tricky because there is nothing we can compare to.  No model of perfection out there, everyone's story is different.  And I think that is the magic in parenting.  Our children won't remember if we were perfect or not, what they remember and hopefully learn is that we try our best, do everything possible, and overcome challenges with grace.  I believe Jenny is deserving of praise for her efforts.

Here is a portrait of Jenny pumping.  Painted for her birthday, but just so coincidentally falling on a date where I can say something and bring some sort of awareness to her experience and the breastfeeding culture as whole.

Jenny Pumping, oil on arches oil paper 12"x16"

Thanks for reading. Much love.  

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